This morning started out hectic. I was throwing up more than usual and Monkey just did not want to hustle. Daddy had dressed her in shorts and sandals, even though the weather report was calling for snow. We had an unplanned tour of Castle Rock, and arrived at the OB’s office 15 minutes late.
The nurse was so sweet and gave Monkey two pink surgical gloves to entertain and distract while the doctor performed his series of important, yet embarrassing tests. He discussed the importance of not eating cat poop while pregnant, and the importance of eating right and taking prenatal vitamins. He reviewed my history and added the few things that have changed since the last time around.
Then we got to see Mouse. Mouse measures exactly 9 weeks today. We were guessing we were about 9 weeks, 4 days today… which means Mouse is right on track. The heartbeat was strong and consistent and ‘well over 100’ according to the doc. The shift in dates means Mouse is now due on my birthday – November 19th. Travis is already trying to convince me a new baby excuses him out of a birthday present.
We have been so nervous waiting for this day. Waiting for a doctor that we trust to say “everything looks good”. I have wondered up until this point how much those words would really mean, since we had heard them just 5 months ago and they proved to mean very little. The negativity has continued to plague our happiness, and we were looking for this appointment to some how change that.
However, last night I was awoken by a spirit I could feel in my body and heart. Without getting into too much detail, I was sent a sign to review Psalms 143. I did so this morning and found the instruction I needed to hear:
Deliver Me O Lord, from my enemies
I take refuge in You.
Teach me to do Your will,
For You are my God.
Let Your good spirit lead me on level ground.
For the sake of your name, O Lord, revive me.
In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.
In your loving kindness, cut off my enemies
And destroy all those who afflict my soul.
I now realize there is no scientific evidence that will ever calm my soul. Only the Lord can provide that comfort and security. Only He can provide what we have been searching for – not a doctor. Our faith in this test was misplaced, and the Lord reminded me of His power. The Lord provided my body as a temple to his spirit and a home for His children; not science. The future really is in Gods hands, not this doctors. And we are grateful that, for now, we have a Mouse in the house.