As I scrubbed the dirt and grime off of my bathroom sink, I began to realize that a day like this cleans more than just the countertops and floor, but it also cleans out my heart.

Today, I was given the chance to reflect on all that happened with those precious children in my family, and realize that my time spent wondering why God gave me information that I couldn’t use served a purpose.  In the days I spent crying out in frustration, I should have been crying out my thanks to the Lord for what I can do.

  • I can manage a Sunday school room full of 17 two year olds with dirty diapers and runny noses.  I learned to appreciate the almost 4 year olds I usually have in my class.
  • I can have patience and grace with Monkey when she spills cereal all over the floor, even though I  am in the middle of bathing the dog and cleaning his poopy kennel for the second time.
  • I can be generous, even when money is tight.
  • I can fold 5 loads of laundry, and have it look like I haven’t done anything all day.
  • Most importantly, I can be wrong, but God never is.

The last one I thought I already knew, but as it turns out all of my questioning is proof that I didn’t.  So, as I wipe the mirror clean and I see myself, still in my pj’s with my hair standing about three inches higher than it should, I wonder how long I have been seeing a dirty version of my life.  How many friends have I blown off due to my own insecurity?  How many laughs have I not laughed because I didn’t want to give in when I was mad?  Exactly how much have I missed?

So, starting today I am cleaning out the cobwebs.  I am knocking them down from every corner of my heart, and I am blowing the dust off of every nook and cranny.  I am starting over, fresh, clean and focused.  Focused on my friends.  Focused on my family.  Most of all, focused on my faith.