I have had weekly doctors appointments for a while now, due to the complications we’ve had.  I had one last Thursday, and later that day we were at Target and I thought I wet my pants.  It turned out someone (I am guessing it was Caterpillar) sneezed in my pants.  Guess that was the mucus plug.

As if that weren’t enough, since then I have sprung a leak.  It was getting pretty embarassing since it would soak through my clothes in public places, so after a few days of tolerating it, Daddy made me call just to make sure everything was okay.  I called in on Sunday and the doctor said I should come down, just to make sure the sac was still in tact.  I told the doctor on the phone that I felt fine, haven’t had steady contractions and asked if I could wait and just go to the office on Monday.  He said I couldn’t, that they will have to deliver if the sac ruptured, so we packed our bags and headed down. 

After a 30 second test, it was determined that my water hadn’t broken and we were free to go home.  For those of you who haven’t had the joy of this test, basically they rub a test strip over your girlie parts to find out what’s leaking.  So much for dignity.

As I mentioned in the last post, Monkey becomes more and more independent every day.  Her vocabulary is also expanding, and part of that has been a challenge for me.  First of all, I can no longer say ‘we will do that later’ unless I mean it.  She will remember, and she will remind me just in case I forget.  Secondly, I chose a while ago to teach her the correct words for her private parts.  A lot of this decision came from a speaker we had in MOPS last year who discussed the importance of children knowing the correct words, in case an assault of some kind happens.

This has gone pretty good so far, with the exception of when she told Monga she had to wipe well, otherwise her vagina would hurt.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Monga realized what just came out of my three year olds mouth…

Since then, she has asked questions in the shower and such and I try to give her honest short answers, which so far has worked.  She usually just moves on because what she thought would be fun to talk about becomes boring when mom has no reaction.

Yesterday, we were at the doctors office and I was once again naked from the waist down.  There was a chart of a female anatomy on the wall, as well as an example of various female contraceptives, a jar of extra large q-tips (I can only imagine what those are for) and gloves.  Monkey has gotten spoiled over this pregnancy because every time we are there, the doctor or nurse gives her the gloves to play with.  She was immediately drawn to the gloves, and we bribed her to be a good listener in exchange for the glove on our way out.

Daddy and I were already laughing because Monkey was hiding behind a curtain in an attempt to scare the doctor when he came in.  I am the girl who laughs and ruins pranks of any kind, so I was pretty proud of the fact I came up with this, and Monkey was game.  From the area behind the curtain, pretty much all she could see was the previously mentioned poster.  So, of course she asked me what it was.  I answered ‘a drawing of a vagina’ and kept talking to Daddy.  He about choked when I said it.  She went back to playing and I told him if it’s not interesting, she will move on.

My plan was working perfectly, until she started saying in a very loud voice:

EVERYONE CAN SEE MY VAGINA.  IT’S RIGHT THERE AND EVERYONE CAN SEE IT.

The doctor came in minutes later and I wanted to look at her and say ‘Know the feeling kiddo.  Just you wait.’