We had another appointment today for Mouse. Monkey was a good girl all morning and even let us know while we were driving that she had to go potty. We have been accident free for a while now. I feel like I should get an “accident free for ___ days” sign from OSHA and hang it in my kitchen.
We heard Mouse’s heartbeat and it was plugging away at a strong 146. Last week it was at about 176, which kind of made me nervous since that seems like a big drop. Although Dr. Graham did say it’s normal, and when he doesn’t worry, I don’t worry. Travis also pointed out that last week Mouse was practicing karate, and this week Mouse might have been sleeping. My thyroid is still in line, so for now we are just enjoying the ride.
If you believe the wives tale about the heartbeat, this little mouse is on the fence… could be boy or girl. Even though our ultrasound isn’t for two more months, I am starting to feel more and more like God is planning a little boy for me. I suppose I have that coming since I told everyone how much I didn’t want a little boy due to all of the penis touching and such. God, just like any parent, wants to show me that I can do things I think I can’t, and having a little boy will likely pleasantly surprise me…not unlike Monkey does every day. I still can’t help but think ‘am I ready for cars, creepy crawlies and cowboy hats?’
I also accepted the position at The Rock and turned in my paperwork today. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I feel like I know the corporate world so well, and have no desire to be a part of that again. That season has passed. I feel like the church setting will be so different, which, of course, the unknown scares me. I am constantly wondering why God chose me to do something like this, when I feel so inadequate. If this is what God is calling me to do, then why isn’t He helping me stay calm and confident in my abilities? Even with all of this doubt in myself, I don’t doubt God. He does not make mistakes, and I really feel like we took time to pray over this decision and it is where I am being led. So, I suppose for now, I will just hold on to my hat and enjoy the ride.