Nurse Turntable called last week to inform me that my thyroid levels were finally completely normal with the dose of medication I was on.  You’d think this would make me jump for joy, but instead I was frustrated because I still feel like poop.

So, I called her back explained said poop feeling and it was as though I snapped her out of her routine.  The strangest thing happened – Nurse Turntable started stumbling over her words a bit, and no longer sounded like a broken record!  Now we’re getting somewhere!

She recommended I come in for a 5 hour glucose test, so I did that today and let me tell you: There is NOTHING fun about this test.

I fasted for 12 hours before the test, which was no biggie as I was sleeping for a good portion of that.  I arrived right on time, waited in the waiting room for 45 minutes, saw Nurse Turntable and Miracle Man for a few minutes and then we were off to the testing room.  They started with a finger prick and a blood draw.  The finger hurt like heck, which looking at the teeny-tiny hole I know you are all thinking I am a total weenie – but it hurt!

Next up was the most disgusting, sugary, flat soda tasting junk that I had to drink within 20 minutes.  I drank about half and told the phlebotomist it wasn’t too bad and she winked and said ‘just keep drinking’.  She must have done this test a time or two, because it was about that time the sugar hit my stomach and I started feeling pretty sick.  I managed to get the rest down, and I started to get brain fog from the sugar rush.  I was taken to my holding cell for the day, which consisted of a TV and VCR (!) and a couch.  I sat down on the couch, plugged my laptop in and started working on the MOPS newsletter.  Within seconds I realized the couch smelled like cat poop and I started looking to find the hidden treasure.  I never found it, and other people joined me in the holding cell, so I sat down and behaved myself.

The first few hours were uneventful – just a finger poke (still hurt like heck every time!) and a blood draw.  During my fourth hour Daddy called and said he was in the area and was stopping by.  While on the phone, I started crashing.  I went and grabbed a nurse who took one look at me, asked if I was going to pass out and called two other nurses and the phlebotomist in so I could get pricked and drawn before they loaded me full of juice and cookies.  I was shaking and crying by the time they were doing the draw and I am still fuzzy on the details, but I do remember how scared they all looked, which makes me a giggle a bit now.

I gulped the juice they gave me and ate three of the cookie bites before realizing they weren’t gluten free, but I was crashing so hard it didn’t matter at that point.  The stomach ache would be worth it. Around that time Daddy arrived with a fruit bowl from the grocery store, which I shoveled in as fast as I could.  They pricked me one more time to make sure I was safe to go and I was on my way.

I totally tried to come home and figure out what my numbers meant, but google wasn’t too helpful.  However, if any of you know how to read the numbers, here’s what mine were:

Fasting: 110

1 hour: 181

2 hour: 152

3 hour: 110

4 hour: 82

5 hour: 59 (this is when I crashed)

When I came home, I crashed out for a few hours.  I woke up, ate even though I wasn’t hungry, hung out for a bit and went to bed.  I only got up now because I was coughing and tossing and turning because I just feel ‘off’ and I could tell I was waking up Daddy so I came downstairs.  I could tell this because every time I’d cough he’d half wake up and say ‘huh? what did you say?’ LOL!  I still feel disconnected, (hopefully half of this post makes some sort of sense!) so hopefully sleep won’t be far away from me now.

I won’t get the results for about a week, and my fingertips are still killing me as I type (and they are all bruised and nasty), so hopefully I don’t have to do a redo or anything like that.

If everything comes back normal, I am almost scared to mention that I am still not feeling great – who knows what Nurse Turntable will have me do next!