I made the decision to leave The Rock MOPS.
It had just gotten to the point where being on leadership wasn’t worth the time I was investing. I added up my time the other day before leaving and I was investing approximately 50 hours per month into that ministry. I was comfortable doing so, but it had reached a point where I was witnessing the focus switch (once again) from God, to internal politics and personal agenda. After last year, I did not have the fight in me needed to even attempt to try to change the hearts of the women in charge. Nor did I feel like it’s necessarily my job to do so. Tuesday I made the decision to step down.
I don’t know what it is in me that just can’t seem to be a part of something that I don’t agree with 100%. When I left my job it was because they wanted to cover up some relatively small details to avoid what they thought could turn into something big. I couldn’t do it, so I left. I walked away from a pretty promising career, making a very good salary because something in me just could not turn a blind eye to what was right.
It’s the same situation with MOPS. I loved the work I was doing. I loved serving women in a stage of life that can be so trying and downright scary. So, why not just turn a blind eye to the other issues? Why is it that last year I was able to put my head down and just do my work … yet this year I just couldn’t?
No idea.
But, I do know once I quit, I was scared. Scared that I would return to being as lonely as I was before I joined four years ago.
The one person, who in my mind, should have some sort of response (the leader) had none. Two days of silence from her, followed up by an email request for the website passwords. As I read those words I realized I was not going to be alone, because spending my time with people who care so little about me indicates I already was alone. I knew then I made the right decision. Instead of walking away from something I loved, I would be able to take back those 50 hours a month and fill them with people who actually care about me and what I have to give. People who actually feel like I cannot simply be replaced by the next applicant.
The surprising thing to me through all of this, is not only the outpouring of support and love I’ve received from not only people in MOPS, but mommies that have left MOPS in previous years. I want each of you to know my goal is to be able to continue to serve you as part of the community. With the gift of time on my side, I know I’ll be able to do more things like making meals for people in need and I’ll be able to bless your children as I serve at Monkey’s school. More importantly, I’ll have more time in The Word, and I’ll be praying for each and every one of you often. So, if you have needs, either spoken or unspoken, please know I am here to help in any way I can. I’d love to think that even though MOPS came to a disappointing end, it will always be a blessing in my life because it made me a better mommy and a better friend. For those of you left on steering that have felt as though I left you to fight the fight alone, please know you were the reason I stayed as long as I did.
But in the end I realized, it’s not you that I have to decide for, it’s me.
With all of that, we are leaving for Disney on Tuesday, and my plan is to start the vacation NOW. So, I don’t think I’ll be blogging while we are there, but I just might surprise you. Otherwise, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks!!
xoxo,
A
You are such a wonderful friend. I have a feeling you are going to take the time you spent on MOPS and use it to glorify God in many different ways. He is the One who opens doors and ultimately closes them for good reasons. I’m praying He shows you the path He’s planned for you now, quickly, so you don’t have time to ever feel lonely. But if you ever do, I’m here to fill your time!! I love you dearly. You are so very special to me and more importantly, to our LORD. May He bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you and give you peace!
Hi there…this is my first time on your website, checking it out b/c I saw you were featured on Mamapedia. I love your photos! Just was looking at your blog….I know I don’t even know you, but wanted to say I’m sorry that your MOPS experience went down as such. I’ve been doing MOPS pretty much every year since my 9 yr. old (I have a 7 and 2 1/2 y.o. as well) was born…that’s a long time and I’ve seen a lot of stuff that I wish I hadn’t where you just want moms to get together and be blessed and bless each other and you run into a bunch of disagreement, politics, hurt feelings, etc. Out of the years, I’d have to say the 2 that I was on steering were the most challenging. I guess I thought that I would have the opportunity to not only work closely with that group of women, but to really become close friends…hard with a group of such diverse women. That was a great message left by the gal above…may God bless you with some special relationships like that and a new sense of purpose that will give Him glory and you your joy back!!