Travis and I came home tired after serving in church yesterday, but we were excited to have my in-laws over for the afternoon and dinner.  They had gone to the church service and we were talking about the message (which I didn’t see) and the subject of judgment came up.

This has been on my heart lately, because after writing my review of Aspen Grove Salon, I have received the nastiest emails and responses.  Very few had to do with the salon, and most attacked me personally, casting judgment on my family and my choice to stay home with my daughter.  Many of them I couldn’t even post because they were a complete disruption in the blog and the review process. Almost all of them were intended to be hurtful.

I have been called some overused terms like ‘soccer mom’ and some not so overused terms that I choose not to repeat.  I sit back and wonder why a woman would try so hard to tear down another woman? But more importantly: when did staying home to raise a family become a bad thing?

I did the corporate thing

I worked in the corporate world for a long time.  I made almost six figures a year and I contributed to my family and society.  I was a good employee and a good manager.  I look at that and say ‘so what?’  I would rather teach my daughter to read one letter at a time, then balance budgets and project numbers.

My opinion is that my choice doesn’t take away my education, or make me any less street smart.  My opinion is I am directly influencing someone for the positive, and I am proud of my results.  When did the general public lose sight of the positive in my role?  When did a title like ‘soccer mom’ become an insult?

I think all moms want to do the best they can for their children.  When we were not financially prepared for me to stay home, working was the best I could do for my child.  It wasn’t where my heart was, but it was the best I could do.  Is that where these insults come from?  Jealousy?

I was jealous, too

I hate to admit it, but I was jealous of the moms who could stay home, make their own schedules, kiss their kids when ever they wanted and have home cooked meals on the table when daddy came home with a kiss and flowers.  I knew jealousy was an evil emotion, yet I felt it.  I wanted that.  Although I can’t think of a time when I said hateful things to a woman in the position I longed for, I do know what that felt burning feeling inside of me felt like.

Now that I have the life we’ve worked for, I am grateful every day.  Part of that gratefulness is being grateful to the experiences I did have in the workforce and the knowledge I gained from it.  I would never judge a mom who is there, nor a mommy who loves being there.  I have to say, after doing both, my current role is a challenge most days.  There are no vacations, no pay increases and not even 30 minutes of drive time to turn off the radio and clear my head.

That being said, I truly believe every person has to decide what is right for their family.  I do not have the right to judge those decisions, and last I heard, God didn’t pass that responsibility to anyone else either.  So when did we start to accept these comments and behaviors and why?