Monkey has been doing great at school.  She’s made lots of friends and her classwork seems to be going well.

The school supports and practices Love and Logic, which also seems to building her confidence.  So, when a little boy and her got into a bit of a squabble, I simply explained from my perspective she had the choice of working it out with him, or playing with other friends.  Inside I was crying right along with those big blue eyes.  How could he uninvite her to his birthday party?  When the heck is his birthday party?  Why did he have to point out they were going to Monkey Bizness, which just happens to be one of her favorite places?  Why can’t I just email his mom and make them work it out? She just kept asking why HE’D asked HER to be best friends, if he was going to be mean. How do I explain that it was not her fault that the rug was pulled out from under her?  That the kick in the face could not have been expected? How do I tell my sweet princess that sometimes people just don’t keep their word.  Especially when they are five and would simply rather play basketball with the boys. 

Every day, when Monkey would get into the car and tell me she had a great day, I’d ask who she played with, and it was never that boy.  At the end of the week, she told me she had decided to just play with those kids who are nice to her, and let the other ones figure that out on their own because them being mean is not in her control or her problem.

Wow.  Such wisdom from the five year old.

Even though I think she knew those words to be true, she was acting just a bit off.  She was a little more whiny, and just seemed discontent.

A week or so had gone by, and she was whining about having to pick up her toy room.  After listening to the screaming and demands to come help, I grabbed a trash bag and began helping.  I explained that I was happy to help her the way that I knew how – by donating the excess.  She started running around picking up all of the toys before I could get my hands on them.  I gathered up the bagful that I had in my hands, and asked her if she felt like she could finish.  Of course it was no problem, so I put the bag of toys in my room and could then hear Caterpillar making his way up the stairs.

No – Don’t come up here!  You’ll make a mess, and I’ll get my toys thrown out!  Go down stairs!

<Pitter patter of the two year old coming up the stairs>

LEAVE!! DON’T COME UP HERE!!!

<Hard crying from the two year old>

I run out of the room and see him sliding backwards down the stairs.  I picked him up and Monkey starts explaining as fast as possible that he fell down the stairs.  I look at him and blood is gushing from his mouth.  I ran downstairs to wash it out, and I can hear Monkey saying she’s going to throw up.

It’s bleeding like crazy and I can’t even tell where it’s coming from.  Monkey comes down and sits at the counter and is crying and it’s becoming more and more obvious that he didn’t fall.

Finally the bleeding mostly stops, and I ask Monkey to think for a minute, and tell me everything that happened.  I told her I needed to know just in case he had to go to the doctor.  She asked if I was going to yell, and I promised I wouldn’t.  Not because I’m above yelling at my children once in a while, but because the torture of not yelling seemed to be something she’d remember a bit longer.  If I yelled, she’d be off the hook.

I told her she has one chance to tell the truth.

She explains that he was coming up the stairs and she didn’t want him to.  Then she started practicing her kicks (as if she does kicks in a club or something that she needed to practice) and he got too close and she accidentally kicked him.

I don’t say anything.

She waits.

She starts bawling.

I’m silent.

She confesses in complete detail that she purposely kicked him in the face to get him not to come up stairs.

I don’t say anything, except this:  Call your Daddy and tell him, just in case we are at the doctor when he gets home.

I’d place money on the fact that she won’t ever do that again.

I think I’m going to like this Love and Logic style of parenting.

Oh, and as far as the boy and his birthday party?  She was invited last week.  I had the mom double check that he did in fact want Monkey to be there, and it turns out that he didn’t mean it when he said he didn’t want her to come.  While they aren’t going to Monkey Bizness, I know she’s over the moon excited, and can’t wait to join them.

Guess she didn’t need mom to intervene after all.  A kick in the face? Nah.  I’m happy for her. She’s growing up so fast, which is a little sad for me, but I just adore and admire who she’s becoming.