After preschool today, Monkeys aunt took her to the park and out for ice cream.  When they came back I was sleeping, but her aunt told me there were kids at the park that were mean to Monkey.  I asked what happened, and it turns out they had bubbles so Monkey went up and in an attempt to join the fun, she started laughing and popping bubbles.  The little girl thought it was funny and they started playing a game of blowing and popping the bubbles together.

Apparently, one of the two boys didn’t like the game and told her there was three of them, and with Monkey it would be four, and there was no room for four.  My disappointed Monkey went and told her aunt what happened, so they left the park for ice cream and toy shopping at Target.

My baby has never been picked on at the park before, and I know that’s part of life.  But, why did that have to happen on the one day when I wasn’t there to help her work it out?  I know in my brain, this encounter is a perfect example of why we sent her to preschool.  These situations are part of life, and her reaction actually made me proud.  Her aunt said she handled it well, came back and told the adult what happened and didn’t cry, but unfortunately the news didn’t hit me in the same way.  I cried.  I cried the tears that should have come from my three year old.

Then, I realized it’s not about those kids at the park or the way Monkey handled them, but more about how isolated I have felt the last few days.  This bed rest is taking some time to get used to and even though my friends and family have been so kind and offered to help, every day when I open my eyes, I just want to roll over and sleep the day away.  I don’t want to shower or brush my teeth so my outside appearance matches my inside, and quite honestly, I am feeling left out.  I have nothing to blog about, because every day is filled with nothingness.  I miss the kids I teach on Sundays, and I miss working in our yard on the weekends.  I hate that I had to clear my calendar, or run the risk of becoming a total flake when I have to cancel at the last minute.

Of course, I want to do what can to help Caterpillar, and physically I am not up to going out and being included in much anyway.  But, I feel like I am looking out of the window, watching the world go by and in my family of soon to be four, there’s just no room for me.