We had been working hard on our debt snowball, however the last couple of months haven’t gone well.  We had some larger expenses, which we were able to pay cash for, but it left our debt pretty static.  This has just been weighing on my heart lately.

Not to mention we have the remaining balance on Disney and tuition starting next month.  We had been hoping to have Daddy’s car paid off before summer was over to cover tuition, but it didn’t happen.  Our medical year just started over July 1, which means we should have about $6k in medical debt pretty soon, as I tend to rack up my deductible pretty quick.  And we are still paying off previous medical bills from an unexpected ER visit.

I know without a doubt the money stuff will work out.  It always has.  As you know, three years ago I quit my job where I was making more than half of our household income and God provided in miraculous ways.  We always have our home and food paid for, so I am not worried.  I know it will work out.

It’s not that I am worried about the money, it’s more that I still feel so guilty about the debt in the first place.  I am ashamed at the poor decisions we’ve made in the past, and I cannot wait to put those bad choices behind us.  When money gets tight, it just feels like a daily reminder of what we’ve done wrong.

I know I need to keep perspective, because the reality if money is the worst thing we’ve done, we’re doing alright.  I am really starting to wonder if we should have gone to more extreme and sold everything from our house.  True Damn Ramsey style.  The things in my house serve as reminders of special things in my life, but they are not the special things.  They are not the people who make me happy, nor are they the memories.

But then I start to wonder if selling my stuff would really make a dent in the debt anyway.  We honestly don’t own much that has value to anyone but us.  Hmmm.  Lots to still think and pray about.

On a side note, just as Daddy and I have been working through this, our mortgage company called out of the blue and said we might be able to refinance and save money each month.  We have our house financed through the credit union, and the loan consultant we worked with last time shared with us that she doesn’t make commission, so when we went through the refinance two years ago it was a very stress free and easy process because we didn’t feel any pressure from her.  We have always done 30 year fixed loans, but we are considering a 15 year fixed.  Our payment is affordable for us right now, so if the rate is lowered enough our hope and prayer is that we can be close to our current payment with a 15 year loan.

Have any of you looked into a 15 year loan, and was it worth it?  Or is it better to just pay it down faster?  It just seems like we have good intentions when it comes to paying things down faster, but they don’t get paid down as fast as we’d like.

Anywho, feeling a bit overwhelmed, but very faithful in Gods plan.  I suppose I am just getting impatient, and thinking about what we have done, and what is left to accomplish makes my brain feel like mush.  And then I start to glaze over.

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I no longer wonder where that look he gives me comes from.