At our last MOPS meeting we had a speaker talk to us about depression.Â As most of you know, depression runs in my family and I feel I am always two steps closer to that edge than I would like to be.Â At the time, I was feeling pretty good and even when I do get a little down, I know God has a plan for my happiness and I can usually bounce back pretty quick.
The leadership at MOPS held a fun night out for the group, and I had planned on going, but then just couldn’t get there.Â Monkey has been toying with a low grade fever and runny nose, but in reality I could have given her to Daddy and he would have been just fine.Â So why did I use her as an excuse to stay home?Â No idea.
I am so sick of the social anxiety that I too often face, so I decided to really take a look at the situation this time.Â I have been feeling good.Â My energy has been up and even when I so tired I am cross-eyed, I have been patient and letting things roll off me.Â Things really have been good.
Last week, I weighed myself for the first time since Caterpillar was born.Â I was excited to see the number was just a few clicks higher than before I got pregnant.Â Considering I gained over 60lbs with Monkey, this was great news.Â Caterpillar was sleeping, so I jumped in and took a long hot shower.Â When I came out, Caterpillar was crying.Â I knew he was safe in his crib, but I grabbed a towel and ran in there just to make sure.Â I lifted him out of the crib and held him close to my chest and sat down in our beloved rocking chair.Â He then stuck his toe in MY BELLY BUTTON and used it as leverage to climb up me.Â So much for feeling good about my post-preggo body.
So, was that the start of the downward spiral?Â Because really I laughed about that, and even called my mom to share the moral boosting event.
Money has been a little tighter than normal, and it’s Christmas so shopping hasn’t been a grand event, but I have never been one to care that much about money, and Monkey and Caterpillar are still too little to know anything about finances and how much presents actually cost.Â So, check that one off… feeling fine in that category.
Monkey got a great report card yesterday and we made a cake last night to celebrate.Â We hung out while Daddy was at guys night out and it was fun to have a girls night in.Â No tragedy there.Â So what is it today?Â Why do I feel so blah and irritable?Â Is it the snow outside?Â What is it?
I had written it off to just the season, then Aunt Flo paid me a visit.Â Ugh.Â I forgot what a buzz kill she can truly be.