I feel undone. The entire experience has just been proof that no matter how much I guard myself, that things can go awry. Many of you know my personality. Even keel. I try not to become too excited about something until I know it is going to pan out. In this case, I withheld my excitement until the baby’s heartbeat was confirmed. Once that was established, we started to make plans. I am not a planner, but getting ready for a baby by the ‘seat of your pants’ is not a good idea. So over the holiday week we prepped the room for the nursery, picked names, shared the good news with relatives, and so on.
To turn around five days later and ‘undo’ what was such a joyous experience…its a little rough. Aside from seeing Angie in pain, the hardest part is waiting for Monkey to forget. That being said, things are normalizing a bit. I am looking at Monkey with a renewed sense of awe. And we’ll make plans to try again.