[singlepic id=2075 w=640 h=480 float=center]
During yesterdays church service, I started looking around and realized something: I have become totally complacent in church. I used to really look forward to going, thought about the service all week and I always left feeling refreshed and inspired. Now … not so much.
I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I can’t help but feel the time I spend quietly with God each morning while the boy naps is far more powerful, and between MOPS and Journey Group I just feel full. Combined with me having more health issues, I find myself wondering if the morning rush and church time is really worth it. I KNOW that sounds terrible, and I feel weird even saying out loud, but hey … I gotta keep it real peeps.
I chatted with Daddy a bit about this yesterday and his perspective is that he needs to almost ‘jump start’ the week with morning service. It makes him feel like he’s focused and ready to begin his week. While I understand that, it just doesn’t seem to be the same for me. Perhaps it’s because I am primarily a stay at home mom so my weeks and weekends aren’t as defined. Although I am not sure that’s the case, as weekends do feel different because Daddy is home, we do different things, etc. Perhaps because I spend so much time with God, there’s not a weekly drift off where I need to be refocused. Not sure. But what I am sure of is that church has become very vanilla for me.
Vanilla in the way that although it’s good, it’s not simply not challenging in any way. The music doesn’t speak to me and I don’t feel the ‘ah-ha’ that I used to feel during the sermons. I do think the messages are relevant, and there is always something I can relate to and feel compelled to focus on in my life, but just no spark. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think it’s MY church by any means. I think PCCC consistently does great things. They are doing many, many things right in my opinion. Which is, in part, why I think it’s all me. Even when they are doing it right, I’m just blah. Not blah about God, as I really do feel He and I are still very close, but just blah-bitty-blah. Perhaps I’ve just reached a point in my marriage to the church where we aren’t dating and surprising each other any more … we’re just doing what we can to make it through the day by day. Is that a bad thing? And if so, how do I change that?
I’d love to hear from fellow Christians (or even non-believers!) if you have ever experienced this sort of season. Was it a situation where you eventually came back to enjoy church again, or do you go simply out of obedience?
Totally get it! It’s been that way for me for a long time. I think it’s because you are a leader in other ministries…so your spiritual maturity is such that you are fed through serving others and your quiet time with God. In my humble opinion, JG is church for you. To me…church is about deep, meaningful, loving, God-led relationships in a setting that allows people to share their lives with each other and serve others in tangible ways. Now, I still go to the church worship service because 1) Jackson loves the kids program 2) I think it’s important to be involved and welcome new people and 3) I like corporate worship. I’ve tried to look at it more in terms of what I have to give to/through the church instead of what can I get out of church. <3
I’ve been here. One thing I might suggest is becoming part of a prayer group at your church if it is offered. Others from the church may come to you with prayer requests and it is this extending your time with God and others needs that might help make it feel a little more fulfilling. After all, if you are at that place then it might be good to help the others that are on their journey.
Oh yes, I agree with Lori. I loved being on the Plum Creek prayer team that met every other week and have been thinking about asking my current church about starting a prayer group as well. Not many people will show up to pray for an hour and a half, but the time spent praying with those who do is very rewarding.
I’ll be honest you and I sound somewhat similar in that regard. I would rather discuss the bible in some sort of small group type setting then sit and listen to a sermon. And while I am inspired by music in general, oftentimes the music in church doesn’t “move me” either.
I keep being encouraged to do church activities for the fellowship part of it, but maybe its because I’m not a real social person it seems lost on me. I don’t sing…at least not sober…in public so I usually just stand there for that. Also, being so new I tend to get “lost” a lot in a bigger group (And I go to a small church) I am much happier when its a discussion and I can ask questions in time to not lose the whole message.
I get the whole…its up to your interpretation type approach in which you are supposed to receive the lords word but sometimes I feel its in French and I miss alot.
I have been to a few healing type services, and where its more individualized and I seem to get a lot more from that.
Often I feel like Sunday morning service just makes me take note of the ways in which I’m failing in my walk and no way to really change that. I am fortunate that I have other avenues here or I probably would have given up by now.
So to answer your question I hope you aren’t “wrong” for that or I am too…