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During yesterdays church service, I started looking around and realized something: I have become totally complacent in church.Â I used to really look forward to going, thought about the service all week and I always left feeling refreshed and inspired.Â Now … not so much.
I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I can’t help but feel the time I spend quietly with God each morning while the boy naps is far more powerful, and between MOPS and Journey Group I just feel full.Â Combined with me having more health issues, I find myself wondering if the morning rush and church time is really worth it.Â I KNOW that sounds terrible, and I feel weird even saying out loud, but hey … I gotta keep it real peeps.
I chatted with Daddy a bit about this yesterday and his perspective is that he needs to almost ‘jump start’ the week with morning service.Â It makes him feel like he’s focused and ready to begin his week.Â While I understand that, it just doesn’t seem to be the same for me.Â Perhaps it’s because I am primarily a stay at home mom so my weeks and weekends aren’t as defined.Â Although I am not sure that’s the case, as weekends do feel different because Daddy is home, we do different things, etc.Â Perhaps because I spend so much time with God, there’s not a weekly drift off where I need to be refocused.Â Not sure.Â But what I am sure of is that church has become very vanilla for me.
Vanilla in the way that although it’s good, it’s not simply not challenging in any way.Â The music doesn’t speak to me and I don’t feel the ‘ah-ha’ that I used to feel during the sermons.Â I do think the messages are relevant, and there is always something I can relate to and feel compelled to focus on in my life, but just no spark.Â Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think it’s MY church by any means.Â I think PCCC consistently does great things.Â They are doing many, many things right in my opinion.Â Which is, in part, why I think it’s all me.Â Even when they are doing it right, I’m just blah.Â Not blah about God, as I really do feel He and I are still very close, but just blah-bitty-blah.Â Perhaps I’ve just reached a point in my marriage to the church where we aren’t dating and surprising each other any more … we’re just doing what we can to make it through the day by day.Â Is that a bad thing?Â And if so, how do I change that?
I’d love to hear from fellow Christians (or even non-believers!) if you have ever experienced this sort of season.Â Was it a situation where you eventually came back to enjoy church again, or do you go simply out of obedience?