For those of you who have not heard John Wallers “While I’m Waiting” I highly recommend you track this song down. I tried to find it on myspace, but John Waller doesn’t have this one listed…

I first heard this song about a year ago. The ministry team I was leading was going through some division due to some decisions and changes and I hadn’t been able to attend the worship session in quite some time. Finally God placed a true leader on my team and Travis and I were able to hear this song the very first time John played it for our congregation. I was so close to my breaking point, yet God used this song to remind me that I hadn’t been forgotten, and I had a responsibility to continue on the path that I knew was right…though it is painful…and it’s not easy…

Since we lost the baby, God continues to put these words that I love so dearly on my heart. A week ago God let me know it was time to start serving again. Even though I do believe I serve Him every day when I love on my daughter and husband. Every day when I am a good steward of our blessings by cleaning my house and working on the never ending laundry, but yet, I know I can do more…While I’m Waiting… I will serve you, as I’m waiting…

In the shower, when I am alone with God and my tears blend with the hot water and no one can hear me cry and no one feels sorry for me, I hear it… I will move ahead, bold and confident…

Every afternoon, when Monkey wants cookies, M&M’s and all things sugary and I have already told her no 100 times… I will not fade…

At the end of the day… when daddy has put Monkey to bed at least ten times and we hear the bedroom door slam upstairs and the pitter patter of our two year old coming down the stairs… all I want is some peace in the house so I can finally relax….I will worship while I’m waiting…

I do take comfort in Gods plans. I know He loves me and will protect me. That doesn’t make waiting any easier. Waiting for the baby to pass… waiting to find out if I have to have a D&C…waiting to see if we will be blessed with more children…waiting to see how God will use this tragedy…