For those of you who have not heard John Wallers “While I’m Waiting” I highly recommend you track this song down. I tried to find it on myspace, but John Waller doesn’t have this one listed…
I first heard this song about a year ago. The ministry team I was leading was going through some division due to some decisions and changes and I hadn’t been able to attend the worship session in quite some time. Finally God placed a true leader on my team and Travis and I were able to hear this song the very first time John played it for our congregation. I was so close to my breaking point, yet God used this song to remind me that I hadn’t been forgotten, and I had a responsibility to continue on the path that I knew was right…though it is painful…and it’s not easy…
Since we lost the baby, God continues to put these words that I love so dearly on my heart. A week ago God let me know it was time to start serving again. Even though I do believe I serve Him every day when I love on my daughter and husband. Every day when I am a good steward of our blessings by cleaning my house and working on the never ending laundry, but yet, I know I can do more…While I’m Waiting… I will serve you, as I’m waiting…
In the shower, when I am alone with God and my tears blend with the hot water and no one can hear me cry and no one feels sorry for me, I hear it… I will move ahead, bold and confident…
Every afternoon, when Monkey wants cookies, M&M’s and all things sugary and I have already told her no 100 times… I will not fade…
At the end of the day… when daddy has put Monkey to bed at least ten times and we hear the bedroom door slam upstairs and the pitter patter of our two year old coming down the stairs… all I want is some peace in the house so I can finally relax….I will worship while I’m waiting…
I do take comfort in Gods plans. I know He loves me and will protect me. That doesn’t make waiting any easier. Waiting for the baby to pass… waiting to find out if I have to have a D&C…waiting to see if we will be blessed with more children…waiting to see how God will use this tragedy…
http://www.christianmusicreview.org/johnwaller_lyrics.html
Angie,
I just want you to know that I had 3 miscarriages in one year. I had already had 2 boys via emergency c-section, suffered through an emotionally abusive marraige, a divorce, struggled as a single mom of a newborn and a toddler and was leading worship at my church. Even though I knew I was a high risk pregnancy, it never occurred to me that I would miscarry! This was my (new) husband’s first baby and I was particularly devistated after the first miscarriage. To make matters worse, I was 30 and his ex-girlfriend was pregnant and unmarried. I felt so empty. 3 months later, the second baby was ectopic and I had to have a D&C. That was May. In October, I coulnt believe it when the dr. told me that the third baby was ectopic. I am here to tell you that in May of the following year, I became pregant again. I didnt think I could get my hopes up for fear of disappointment. I had faith in God and that faith never waivered but I had been so disappointed previously, that I was afraid to hope! Then I got a call from my doctor – not a nurse or receptionist – but my actual doctor! He told me that my pregnancy was viable and he was going to “get me a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby this time”. I was nieve enough to believe him. I had only a little faith but all I needed was mustard seed faith! My little man was born on Feb. 24, 1995 at 8 lbs and 2 oz and was perfect in every way! I had an easy pregnancy and delivery, just as my doctor promised. Now I have 3 boys and the oldest is married with a little boy of his own on the way. God is faithful. I normally dont ever share personal things with customers whom I meet over the internet, but I read your blog and wanted to share this with you! God bless you! Melody Edwards
You don’t know me, but I am a worship leader and I also know this song. Very Well. Different stage of life, but the same prayer. While I’m waiting… to find my missionfield… I will serve You… with whatever my hand finds to do here and now in the harvest of this hometown. Though I have no one to minister and walk with me side-by-side… I will be running the race I’m called to…. even while I wait…. To hear your heart encouraged me tonight. Thank you.
Shey,
WOW. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Your story brought tears to my eyes and joy in my heart.
On a side note, his song “Breathe on Me” is another GREAT song. It has spoken to me in so many seasons, and now that we are trying to conceive another baby it has a whole new meaning.
Many blessings,
Angie